The end? Or just the beginning?

So it finally happened. Now that I’ve had time to process I can finally put words to screen. Or maybe I can’t. This might just be a long rant. I haven’t decided yet. Anyways it finally happened… the moment we’ve all been waiting for…and the award for biggest idiot goes to *drum roll* ME!!! After 2 long months with no contact, “the man” blocked me on Facebook. Now before you ask, I hadn’t texted him in almost a week. I am just at a loss. But I can’t say I necessarily want to know. Would it even be the truth? Was ANYTHING he said truthful??? How can you believe someone who can tell you they love you, after a year, then cut off all communication a week later for 2 months then slam the door in your face? Would it be more flaky reasons? “Work was too stressful and I knew it wouldn’t work” or “You were too pushy”. The reality is that I didn’t ask for much but effort. Not things or stuff or anything but a “Hey” once in awhile.

I was understanding. When he didn’t want to be public I was annoyed but understood. But once he moved it was better. He seemed to put more effort in, we went and did things in public, even had our first overnight. And I never asked for presents on my birthday or for Christmas. Allegedly there were presents always “on their way” and the usual garbage. But I was patient and understanding still. AND IT STILL WENT TO HELL ANYWAYS. I have been forced to move on kicking and screaming. Well, and crying. I know I’ll be ok. Deep down. But I also still love him so much. It’s definitely hard. But I’ll have to live with no closure.

In other news, just a couple weeksish til my trip and my Nexus interview. I’m so excited. I’m renting a car to get around so I’m excited and nervous. But I know I can do it. On the Monday my friend and I are venturing to find the restaurant I’ve been waiting for for forever! Tubby Dog!! I’m excited to get out of town for a weekend. Anyways day 1 of 5 so I better get to sleep now. Full moons give me weird dreams. But more on things next time! Night everyone!


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